Tuesday, September 13

Both the best and worst thing about Scott Stewart's Priest (2011)

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The one-and-only Brad Dourif appears in a tiny role as a snake oil salesman promising his holy water will ward off any vampiric threat. He's promptly chased out of town by the titular character and then runs off to tell Karl Urban's Lee Van Cleef-like head vamp of the hero's presence in the hope of some kind of barter. For his efforts, the snarky bastard unwillingly joins the bloodthirsty undead legion as Urban instructs one of his minions to "Put him to work."

I took that as a promise of Brad at least appearing once more, but in a cruel case of Dourif blue balls, he's never seen or heard from again. I honesty can say I would have rather seen more of the actor if it meant the utter annihilation of the last remnants of mankind by the planet's new dominant species. Chucky gets no respect I tells ya...

Otherwise, Stewart's Priest is another randomized pattern of Syfy Channel-friendly dystopian sci-fi/action/western/horror "cool shit" that manages to squeak into theaters every few months. An inoffensive ninety-minute workout in sickeningly slick style for the filmmaker and production crew to practice on that you'll likely never watch again.

The cover's pull quote is laughable, the word "fucking" is uttered in this PG-13 fare (the unrated cut has an identical minute runtime), and one would kick themselves if they paid any more than five bucks to see it. Thankfully, ol' Mr. Steal New Copies From Retail was shoveling off the DVD this past weekend for that very price. Hats off to Sony, despite pushing the Blu-ray format for all its worth, their standard definition disc thoroughly convinces there's no rush to upgrade, at least with this flick...




1 comment:

The Film Connoisseur said...

I thought this was better than expected, had fun with it and I dug the Blade Runner mixed with vampires vibe, but I didnt like the matrix style fight on top of the train, that was lame, everything else, pretty cool in my book.

...do you dare tread upon the staircase?
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