A.K.A. Terminator II
Directed by Bruno Mattei
90 Minutes / Cult Alley Theatre DVD-R / 1.85:1 Widescreen (taken from the Japanese VHS w/ small Japanese subtitles)
A ecological disaster devastates the city of Venice and scientists find themselves attacked by strange creatures in the apparently sprawling industrial tunnels found underground. Now a pack of marines codenamed "Megaforce" (ugh) and a representative from the "Tubular Corporation" must descend into the cement depths of piping-lined walls to seek and destroy. The team is repeatedly attacked by the Humanoids from the Deep, discover a little girl named New...I mean Samantha hiding in the darkness, and must trek into the Tubular plant to find the truth.
It's like Aliens and The Terminator with a dash of Carpenter's The Thing churned with vomit in a blender. This flick really, really sucks...even by Mattei standards. The majority of actors appear to be Americans with their true voice performances intact. They're all terrible, except (kinda) for Geretta Geretta, best known as the black prostitute zit demon in Bava's '85 Demons. Here she's the badass ebony queen of the Megaforce. The rest I swear could have been tourists answering an ad. Talking about the team, they wear awful looking yellow, black, and blue karate uniforms with flared shoulder pads. Yep, that's the cream of the Italian(?) armed forces right there. I didn't even chuckle once; the whole thing is a sheer endurance test.
The last half hour picks up the pace a little, but that first hour can be likened to the daze after being hit in the face with a shovel. Skip it and don't ever feel as if your Italian genre diet is incomplete without. Admittedly, I can't believe there's at least two other 'net reviews of this film that are much more wordy than the above. I'm getting headache even trying to think of more to say about this utter crap.
DVD-R Picture: 3/10 (who turned out the lights?)
DVD-R Sound: 4/10
LIFE AFTER BETH
7 hours ago