That's All I Have To Say About That: Jason Goes to Hell: The (Not Really) Final Friday (1993)

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This photo is an exact approximation of the level of menace the actual Jason projects in Jason Goes To Hell:

That's All I Have To Say About That...

Children/Dead Things Follow-Up: The VCI "Revision A" Exhumed Edition

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First off, what a friggin' great looking DVD cover all around. Just received this one cheap used from Amazon's Marketplace and I figured I'd report primarily on the picture quality. Flashback to September 2007, VCI was about to re-release Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things as a special edition DVD. I'm unsure if the disc actually officially met its release date (some sites received screeners), but VCI issued a complete recall citing a error in a cut version with wonky colors being pressed instead of the finalized uncut version prepped and as advertised.

Marred copies that managed to escape the studio return soared in price on eBay despite VCI stating they'd re-press and release uncut discs. The copy I received is the corrected version with "Revision A" on the back cover and on the disc's face. On the left scan, look on the back right next to the orange splat above the word "AUDIO" for this (tiny) denotation. Both this VCI edition and their 1999 edition run roughly 1:26:35.

As for the transfers, both suffer from some rather annoying issues. The 1999 disc is murky, drab, and in non-anamorphic widescreen. There's a problem with intermittent Laserdisc days dotcrawl that lays over edges (i.e. - the credits) and almost seems to subliminally "flash" every few frames giving the impression of fake film grain.

The 2007 SE is anamorphic with slices of new picture information along the top and bottom of the frame. Colors are much improved, but I can't help but believe they're too pumped up. Alan's shirt seems to shift between bright yellow/orange and facial tones tend to take on whatever the dominant color is on-screen (bright red shirt = reddish skin / bright green shift = grayish skin). Another example of too much color pump in a "remaster" is MGM's Gruesome Edition of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Both CSPwDT transfers are interlaced which especially hurts the SE's potential detail. There's also a layer of odd noise that doesn't quite look like natural grain but more like "artificial" noise introduced to give the false impression of more fine detail. Here's some unresized comparisons between the discs. The SE isn't bad with the extras (aside from the terrible music videos) making up for the transfer's weak points though it could look better. The SE's disc name is "CHILDREN_DEAD_DISC". Hahahaha...

1999 VCI DVD TOP / 2007 VCI SE DVD BOTTOM

The 500th Post: Much Thanks and a Few Odds & Ends

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Wow, didn't think I'd be to this point already. The rest will be a self-absorbed diatribe. Looking back, I created this blog out of sheer boredom. Things at work had slowed down so much I found myself well...bored and in need of a creative outlet. Even though I'm not terribly good at it; I love to write. When thinking about all the wholesome life-affirming garbage reflected off my eyeballs, my mind spits out pearls in the form of sentences spontaneously. I often find myself scrambling for a pencil to jot down these brainfarts. The results are interned here for all to read and I hope this fun is apparent in my writings here.

Saying this, the big admission is I still don't have a college degree of any sort much to the wonder of everyone who knows me personally. I have some courses under my belt as an English major, but the reality of a work-a-day life (and the economy) has quelled my hopes a bit...whatever they might be. I'm still unsure of what I really want to "do" since I've never found anything as fulfilling as writing. Funny because I'm awful at even basic Arithmetic and not nearly as articulate in person. It's just hard imagining myself doing anything as an actual career and a Liberal Arts degree isn't exactly a moneymaker unless one has truly unique talent. Just needed to get this off my chest as it feels like I'm somehow tricking those who read this blog into thinking I actually have credentials if I don't make this known. I'm aware of how mighty big-headed that sounds and I'm feeling more than a touch strange tonight. Okay, that's enough of my wallow in self-loathing and pander for sympathy, back to the 500th post.

"Basement of Ghoulish Decadence", you ask? I honestly no idea where I plucked that from. I think I figured that name would be memorable enough for visitors to remember if they happened upon this blog at a computer that wasn't theirs. Of course, this is why we have e-mail, but I'm slow. I've always admired those that have carved out their place in cyberspace. I've already given credit to the great The Horror Section as the real catalyst for getting my ass into the blogosphere, but also The Pulsing Cinema as the strongest "vague" blog inspiration. Before John Hard went all podcast (no use for 'puter speakers or iPods), The Pulsing Cinema was a fantastic place to dig through for useful minutia concerning horror/cult selections and their various releases. The owner would often throw up obscure editions and detail them to the joy of obsessive personalities like the operator of BoGD. While other places usually glossed over my questions, Pulsing Cinema would answer them without me asking first.

This was and is my goal with Basement of Ghoulish Decadence. Days, months, or years from now, a fellow horror fan might actually be helped by the information I provide. I like that feeling as a way of giving back to all those that have helped aid and cultivate my hobby of collecting/watching the genre. Plus BoGD provides a reason to watch more flicks and keeps my key-punched meanderings sharp which is never a bad thing. Again, I hope this fun is apparent in my contributions here.

Anyway, thank you all very much for the continued visits, adds, and supportive (and informative) e-mails. The hits will keep coming and who knows where this might lead. Here's to 500 more entries and finds I really no clue where to put from an ever-deceasing amount of space. The picture of Mr. Cooper to the right is there merely because the man is still a badass after all these years and more of my posts should have unrelated shots of Vincent.

As for other jumbled odds and ends, check out this bank-bustin' eBay auction of the British Intervision VHS edition of 1972's The Black Decameron (Il decamerone nero) that closed at $1,459.84 with 23 bids. Certainly the most bidding action and highest price I've ever seen on a VHS. I still haven't discovered why but "surfgenie" is probably nothing but happy. Moving on, why does it seem like every box of Imperial's The Dead Pit shows up heavily damaged like they've sat in a dank basement in a puddle for fifteen years? I've yet to find a copy in even halfway decent shape. Here's the newer Japanese Cannibal Holocaust VHS from Spike released in the '90s just to compare to my just received '86 release. Also additional thanks for Trick 'r Treat composer Douglas Pipes for including a link to my thoughts on the film on his official website's Press section. Certainly a big and pleasant surprise!

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Who Thought The Anthropophagic Green Inferno Actually Resided in West Virginia?

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It has arrived. Somehow, I found the Japanese CBS/FOX, Shochiku Home Video VHS of Cannibal Holocaust as a Buy It Now for $45 on eBay a week ago from a seller in West Virginia of all places. That might seem like a bit much, but when you consider Japanese pre-records often average at least $25, this was a no-brainer. Especially with this title being so highly coveted, this tape would have sky-rocketed well past that if it was a week long bidder auction. Hope the seller isn't reading this...hehehe...

Sadly, the tape is an ex-rental with stickers and some serious spine fading, but I don't really care. The stickers (all these) came off successfully and right now I'm in the middle of a geekgasm just looking at it. It's one of those tapes you never sell merely on principle.

Haven't watched any of it yet, but this VHS is said to be uncut with a listed runtime of 95 minutes (at the bottom of the red text on the back). The tape label states "© 1982 TRANSAMERICA FILM DISTRIBUTORS, N.V. INC. AND UNITED FILM INC. All Rights Reserved. © 1986 CBS/FOX Company. All Rights Reserved. CBS™ is a trademark of CBS Inc. used under license. FOX™ is a trademark of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation used under license." At twenty-three, this is the oldest Japanese pre-record I own.

(Japanese VHS, bootleg of Dutch Cult Epics VHS (bought way before any DVD release), two U.S. Grindhouse Releasing Editions, Dutch EC Entertainment Standard Edition, Dutch EC Entertainment Ultrabit Edition, Italian Alan Young Pictures Edition)

Return of the Living Dead: The DVD Comparison Nobody Asked For

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Ever totally forget you ordered something until it arrives? This is Videoville Showtime's box set of Return of the Living Dead Necropolis and Rave to the Grave hailing from Canada. It also came all the way from the country and took weeks to get to my mailbox. Why is Canadian Post always so damn slow?

I decided to investigate this VVS Films set since there's a number of odd things about it. First, it just seems strange a studio would care enough to create a limited edition box set of two rather uneventful releases and dub it a "collection" of a director that's nowhere near a household name to anyone. A curious "unrated" is slapped on the front and Rave to the Grave's cover with Lionsgate's stateside discs being R-rated. There also appears to be no specs or details of this set available anywhere. So I had no idea if these had exclusive extras or what...dammit.

When Amazon.ca had this set, it was tagged with the insane price of $42 US shipped. Finally sealed copies are currently popping up from iNetVideo on Amazon's Marketplace and eBay for $15 shipped, but the shipping time as stated is a bitch like that third step.

Surprisingly, both films in this set are longer than Lionsgate's U.S. discs. Necropolis runs one minute, six seconds longer while Rave to the Grave runs exactly three minutes longer than the R-rated cut. This extra time is calculated at main track start and every disc has identical opening and closing credit sequences. I haven't seen Necropolis recently enough to tell (aside from the first kill), but it appears nearly every bloodier/gorier portion involving zombie attacks in Rave is lengthened by a few frames on this Canadian DVD. You gotta wonder why Lionsgate went through the trouble of submitting to the MPAA's scissors when the only people watching these would want to see the maximum amount of undead carnage contained within. The addition bits aren't going to change minds but it's annoying knowing the versions from a studio known for releasing horror uncut are truncated.

For the the video quality of the presentations; the hat tips to Lionsgate with both of their DVDs featuring progessive, anamorphic widescreen transfers. VVS's transfers are interlaced with terrible combing artifacts and for some unknown reason Necropolis is non-anamorphic (despite the box stating it is) yet Rave is anamorphic. Liongate's discs only feature Dolby stereo tracks while both of VVS's discs sport Dolby 5.1 tracks. Extras are slim with VVS having each film's "Coming to a Theater Near You" (hahaha) trailers and Lionsgate crapping out with only trailers for other films on each.

I know this won't mean much to most, but this entry is for those like me with DVD version control OCD and uncut diehards who demand only the longest cuts of the films they watch...but who wouldn't? If you haven't seen these and want to; this set looks nice with a nice price (see here) next to your other ROLD series DVDs. No reason to fiddle with the edited versions, right?

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Some quick thoughts on Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things! (1973)

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There's something individual about Children... that's tough to put into words. Maybe it's the secluded forested island by night locale, but the film feels nearly completely disembodied from time. This lesser film shot back-to-back by director Clark with the potent Deathdream (1974) could have been lensed last year and purposely degraded as an homage to schlocky '70s cheese. Even the gaudy, bright fashions of the "living" cast settle into an stereotypical "hyperreality" of the decade Children... was made. The premise of the pissed-off dead rising from ruffling Beelzebub's feathers also fits well with the period's fascination with Satanism and in an alternate universe could be a logical starting point for the modern "zombie" if Romero hadn't pioneered the rotted flesheater in '68. Not that I'm complaining...

Bob Clark's zombies are obviously influenced by George's milestone, but are extremely impressive in their confidence. Just five short years after Night of the Living Dead, the vernacular of the American meat desiring zombie is cemented right here. It's all here; dirty burial wear, shambolic ambling, flaky green skin, blackened orbits, moaning, and a hunger for warm human while bathed in eerie fog. One could throw them in an indie undead flick of today and they'd fit right in. These zombies aren't just seeking dinner, but they're aiming for revenge. When they arise, it's more than a bit unsettling how quickly characters fall and no one is spared despite not actually witnessing any "feeding" off victims. This is where the wait plays off and Children... succeeds with chunky globs of atmosphere after its long, talky build-up.

I was a victim of the first hour upon my initial viewing years back until I perked up with the attacking zombies. Don't expect a constant threat as the majority of the film is spent with false starts, tiny hints of impeding doom, and general hijinks with the little shit director and his irritated company. Though Clark and Ormsby's script is pretty snappy if you're in the right mood. Alan Ormsby's performance as a bullshit intellectual director is a supremely arrogant grade school prank-pulling prick but he does have the best lines. I think I'm going to keep his quote, "Man is a machine that manufactures manure.", for a rainy day. The upside of this sometimes endurance test portion is that just before the dead dig from their dirt; the proceedings with the living feel like the sticky "end-of-the-night" after a party has worn out its welcome. Everyone is fed up with everyone, tired, listless, and ready to leave. Of course, the difference being zombies are awaiting instead of a buzzed drive home at 4 a.m.

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things! is like an after-dinner mint nestled upon a brain-splattered pillow. A pleasant little chaser to partake in every once in a while after gorging yourself on larger undead epics. Clark's heart is obviously all over its kitschy spookhouse mentality and it deserves to be reserved for those nights when you just want something comfy in a zombie subgenre offering.

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Swap Meet Finds: Stoney Crusty Dude with the Buff Spikes

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Sorry, Encino Man was on last night. Anyway, one of my mysterious yet ever-so-kind contacts dropped about six crates slathered in horror vhs goodness today. While fighting off the hordes amassing to eradicate my chance at magnetic tape conquest, I ended up snagging a crate's worth and could hear my VCR groan as I got home. Some of the following are from yesterday, but most are from this morning.

This first group is great. The Hereafter is from MOGUL and the first time I had ever seen one of their releases in a slipcover instead of a big clamshell. I can't find any information on the film or crew besides the cover stating a copyright of 1987. The Toxic Avenger is from Lightning Video R-Rated edition in great shape. Night Life is also in much better shape than the faded copy I already have. Night of the Zombies (Mattei's Hell of the Living Dead) is the Vestron original. This is one the seller or I couldn't peg with the Goblin score that's actually stolen from their soundtrack for Dawn of the Dead and Alien Contamination. Squirm has fantastic art and Dead Kids is actually 1981's Strange Behavior. Horror of the Zombies belongs to the Blind Dead series being The Ghost Galleon.

The second group has some good'ins. I finally have a playable copy of Humanoids from the Deep. My other copy is the ancient Warner Home Video "book" box (seen here) that I've always been leery of playing. Never heard of Night Creature before. Horror Planet is actually 1981's Inseminiod. I finally snagged a copy (in great shape!) of Paragon's uncut Just Before Dawn. The Carrier and Nightmare on the 13th Floor are rarities that I've been looking for for quite sometime. I had no idea Embassy released Humongous in a slipcover since my Beta copy is a clamshell. Lee Philips' The Spell is quite rare but the Goodtimes VHS isn't the really valuable edition with Worldvision's big clamshell taking in insane sums on eBay.

The third lot are several nifty bootlegs. Versus needs no intro. I can finally see Without Warning sourced from the Japanese pre-record. Halloween 6 is the Producer's Cut with the tape having a label simply stating HALLOWEEN 666 MASTER. Army of Darkness (in paper wrapping!?) is sourced from the Japanese TOWA Video Laserdisc with subtitles and the "Captain Supermarket" title splash screen before the film. The version is the director's cut with the theatrical ending. The DC apocalyptic ending is presented after the film. The Beyond is from the Japanese pre-record. Unsure why I bought most of these but I have a sickness for bootlegs of even the easily obtainable; they're like a bit of history of how things were before the DVD format revolutionized the way us horror/cult maniacs watch our crap.

The fourth assortment are some cut boxes. Twisted Brain (Horror High) was supposed to arrive on DVD, but this now seems up-in-the-air unfortunately. Tourist Trap is Media's scare 1978 VHS. The black cased X-Rated flick is 1973's High Priestess of Sexual Witchcraft directed by Beau Buchanan and featuring Georgina Spelvin. From the IMDB: A young runaway escapes from abusive men and finds a happy home with a cult of devil-worshiping lesbians. Indeed. Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things is the cool VCI Video clamshell. I really need to see this one again, so perhaps this will be tonight's selection!

The final bunch is mostly smut. Little French Maid is in an uncut Unicorn Video-style "slim" clamshell in excellent condition which is rare in itself. The front, spine, and back cover is sealed in the plastic covering and usually if they aren't sliced up by rental joints the plastic is marked up in some way. That's probably my fourth copy of the Thunder Warrior clamshell and I still have yet to find either of the two sequels. Prisoner of Paradise is apparently the 1980 porn remake of Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS according to The Spinning Image.

The DVD-R on the bottom is three hours footage from the Pittsburgh Comic Con 2003 celebration of Dawn of the Dead from the folks over at DOTD.de. The disc is actually authored on PAL and features a walk through of the interiors and exteriors (incl. the boiler room basement) of the Monroeville Mall with Foree, Lies, and Emge. Also visits to Dawn's airport and Night's Evans City Cemetery. The last hour is a Q & A panel with the aforementioned, minor members of the cast, and Greg Nicotero. Just great stuff, I really should make the trip myself sometime since I'm not that far away. It'd be cool just buy a copy of Dawn at the mall though I imagine everyone does that. Shit, now I gotta find more room...hehehe...

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Details on CONTON (1987)

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Specs from Z-Grade: Jujin Densetsu / Con Ton Directed by Takuro Fukuda / 45 Minutes / Starring Tasashi Kato, Kyoko Katayama, Kazuhisa Kawahara, Manta Yamamoto, Fumihude Kimura, Ryoto Koike.

This short isn't subtitled in English so what follows is a complete (so expect spoilers) plot crunch based on my viewing of a DVD-R copy of the original Japanese Zeus/Roco Ltd. VHS. This title seems very rare. I have no idea who made this DVD-R and the only other copy I've been able to locate is the original VHS through Z-Grade for $150.

A young Japanese TV lighting technician, Goshun, who sculpts vinyl Kaiju figures as a hobby begins having nightmares about hulking samurai monsters invading his dreams punching down walls and throwing objects in his direction to a rip-off take on Goblin's Sleepwalking from Phenomena. Goshun is also having problems with his girlfriend Amy while being hassled by three petty street thugs demanding money after a small fender bender with the young man.

During one of his dreams, Goshun vomits up dark green bile in his bathroom sink and from the bubbling ooze a face emerges with a Alien-esqe teethed snake (lower half of the cover to the left) that shrieks and suddenly jumps towards his face causing him to wake up screaming. In another dream, Goshun walks into a darkened room and lifts a helmet up off the floor revealing an old hag's head. The hag's eyes open and clawed hands rip from floor grabbing Goshun as he gorily tears off the face of the hag. The bloody skull with dangling eyes and tongue spits intestines at Goshun that proceed to strangle him.

Goshun keeps trying to duck run-ins with the thugs but is eventually cornered in the TV studio after hours by them. Amy is thrown forth gagged as the men begin threatening with guns and beating the young man. As Goshun rages at his seemingly hopeless situation his body begins to transform a la An American Werewolf in London into a huge slimy beast with corded hair running from the top of its head down its back. The creature decapitates the thug leader, tears the face of another totally asunder, and stomps on the last with Amy looking on. Still in this otherworldly state, Goshun approaches Amy who shoots him pleading to stop. Amy gets up out of the darkness and ends up being one of the monsters from Goshun's nightmares as she takes her helmet off. Then the camera pulls out revealing the same scene in one of Goshun's vinyl figure projects on his desk in his apartment. THE END.

This short isn't bad, but it's not tremendously graphic with most of the effects being a bit cartoonish. Certainly not worth $150, though it is one of those obscure Japanese curiosities that makes you wonder why was it made in the first place like the Guinea Pig series. So hopefully this will quench the wonder from those wanting to find a copy.

Happy Friday the 13th and Pardon the Migraine Malaise...

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Happy Friday the 13th fellow fiends! I honestly don't feel much like writing today. I've been a long time sufferer of migraines and while the worst has past since Wednesday I need a bit of a break today. BoGD got a few little adjustments over the past few days like its own "favicon" (the tiny icon in the address bar) and images "tweaking" with mouse hovers for no reason. Jason Goes to Hell is on tap for tonight to celebrate the occasion and it being the one F13 sequel I haven't seen in years.

At least the weekend is finally here (where's J. Astro?) and hopefully the swap meet raids will be fruitful to some degree despite the wet weather here. Thanks to the new followers that have sprung up and as usual Mr. Scandy Tangerine Man has cost me money...again (great heads up!). Tomorrow brings thoughts and shots from a still very rare Japanese underground splatter short. Nah, not any of the Guinea Pigs or Biotherapy...

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Some quick thoughts on Creep (2004)

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After seeing this was a 2004 "Demon in the Rough" and given a 9/10 rating over at FearFinder, I figured I'd finally give Creep a watch hearing so-so reaction for years. I'm sorry to say I'm going to have to fall in with the crowd that wasn't bowled over by these creeps in the London Underground.

Basically, Creep is a slept-through-her-last-train-chance Franka Potente versus Castle Freak that shrieks and looks like the nocturnal vamps in The Descent in the subterranean catacombs of the London subway system. Without spoiling the plot; the film rests on a blanket of easy coincidence. Every twist doesn't come as much of a surprise and even the chair jumpers are of the obvious "it'll be behind her/him" variety. Events snap in place so sourly for Potente's rather bleeding heart character you expect her at some point to blurt out "it's been a rare night..." when reflecting on her amazingly bad horror flick luck. Writer/Director Christopher Smith crafts a razor slick thriller that has an infatuation with splashy grand guignol horror but has a very tough time filling itself with any genuinely unique qualities. You know there's a problem when the most cringe-inducing moment is Potente ripping off a bloody hangnail while taking a bath in murky shit water.

What's also frustrating is how the freak beast villain is meekly made out to really be just a pitiful soul who the heroine and audience should feel empathy towards. The problem is we don't spend much time with this "human being" besides witnessing him brutally attacking and slaughtering innocent victims. There's some allusions to his torturous past but it's simply no excuse for his monstrous actions. At a certain point, this sub-human taunts using the final pleas of one of his victims knowing the emotional effect it would have. This high level of thought only made me dislike him more; he isn't just some inbred creature working on id impulse alone. Potente's character operates under a cracked ideology for not beating this wanton murderer's face in during the multiple opportunities to do so even after seeing him do his grisly work firsthand. Where's the balls exhibited by Lola, Franka? Though the disgusting open sore-riddled genetic abomination is fashioned by great make-up work and has a gory dispatch reminiscent of the lingering kills in Italian horror of yesteryear.

Ultimately, there's far more tension and terror in the short London Underground chase sequence in Landis's classic An American Werewolf in London than in all of Creep that's essentially another Diet Coke of a horror movie. As a sidenote, the edition I watched was Pathe's British DVD which sports a fantastic transfer and is framed in the film's intended 2.35:1 widescreen ratio. Liongate's U.S. disc is misframed at 1.78:1.

BoGD's Extra Freakin' Hard Guess The Horror Screenshots

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Inspired by Freddy in Space's "Name That Movie" games, I've devised my own take dubbed the Extra Freakin' Hard Guess The Horror Screenshots. I've dug deep into my DVD collection in an attempt to stump everyone who dares guess. I'll start with three shots of films from three different countries and decades. These shots are all sourced from DVD, but one isn't officially available on the format anywhere and two aren't released in America on home video. I'll add hints in the comments as the guesses roll in...good luck...mwhahahahaha!

Japanese LD A Go Go On Now...

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A Japan-based eBayer is selling off a slew of excellent condition laserdiscs right now, see his listings here. I'm out on these as I'm paranoid about ordering LDs overseas, but if one is braver, there's a ton of jewels for the taking. The crown of the bunch happens to be a CBS/FOX LD of Ruggero Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust (currently @ $83 with 3 hours to go). Along with the VHS edition, this is still the "holy grail" of this film's legitimate home video releases due to their rarity. I've nabbed the photos for reference purposes as these are the clearest shots I've ever come across (back/insert/disc here). Good luck to those who bid! It's a beauty!

An Early Happy Birthday to Count von Count!

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With awareness of the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street at a high due to last week's themed Google logos, I thought I'd wish an early happy birthday to Count von Count, who turns an almost old as the series itself thirty-seven this coming November 27th.

I personally don't have any memories of the Count as a child being too busy dawning a Proton Pack when my memory began archiving. Though that's besides the point. Who would have thought this character inspired by Lugosi's Count Dracula would be a mainstay in the gaggle of otherwise cuddly muppets back in his 1972 debut. Well, "cuddly" excluding Oscar the Grouch.

Sorry to get on a soapbox, but it seems like a tiny miracle this compulsive counting Count has survived for so long in this overly politically correct climate that's been stewing for years in American culture. The series is no stranger to recent controversy, with the introduction of an HIV-positive muppet on the South African incarnation, but it's hard to believe some do-gooder group hasn't faked outrage over the Count being obviously based one of horror's most enduring characters. I'm referring to the loonies who want to ban traditional Halloween activities, believe Harry Potter a harbinger of black magic end times, got antsy over Orphan, think Teletubbies is worthy children's entertainment, or the People's Republic of China who banned horror flicks for the Beijing Olympics despite the smog polluted skyline looking like the entire city was ablaze.

This might sound a little insane, but Count von Count is one of the last slivers still thriving of a bygone era. A period where horror films weren't viewed as some morally corruptible force to be quietly yet systematically exorcised from the country's small screens even as the age of Jerry Springer and primetime murder shows with cracked forensics was ushered in.

In a small way, this pink fanged muppet represents the glimmer in the eyes of many of us who sneaked a verboten late night viewing of an old Hammer classic or an '80s chestnut while being regaled by some goofy horror host with fog machine full blast as our parents slept. If anyone has a problem with the Count; he's taught countless children the importance of nailing down the rudimentary base of Arithmetic and to not be so fearful of the fake frights on television as they just might be among cherished memories later in life. Only one question remains, whatever happened to Countess von Backwards?